


Visions of Gideon

by Anoel



Category: Multi-Fandom
Genre: Embedded Video, Fanvids, Gen, Video, Vividcon, vid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-06-29 09:37:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15726774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anoel/pseuds/Anoel
Summary: "Is it a video?" A video I created about my personal experience with Vividcon with only footage of my own vids including text I wrote recently and from Vividcon con reports/posts.





	Visions of Gideon

Title: Visions of Gideon  
Music: "Visions of Gideon" by Sufjan Stevens  
Fandom: Multi (uses only footage from my vids including text I wrote recently and from Vividcon con reports/posts)  
Summary: "Is it a video?" A video I created about my personal experience with Vividcon.  
Content Notes: A few clips with blood in them.  
Notes: Made for Vividcon Premieres 2018. Thanks to Lola for the beta!  
Download Link: [Visions of Gideon (94MB MP4)](http://paravio.net/anoel/Anoel-VisionsOfGideon.mp4)

I heard this song at the end of Call Me By Your Name and it immediately struck me as a song that reminded me of vidding with the "Is it a video?" repeated lyric. At some point of listening to the song, the line "I have loved you for the last time" reminded me of Vividcon and I got the idea to make a vid to the song using my own vids as footage to show how much Vividcon means to me just like the clips in my vids have a lot of meaning to me (they're both video and my real life identity). The lyric "Visions of Gideon" reminded me of my idealism especially when it comes to Vividcon and how I held up the con as a beacon of happiness and hope that helped me get through hard times in my life. I wanted to use text to explain the Vividcon connection (and how I first found VVC) and try to use text from my VVC posts to use my whole history with VVC from my first to the last one I attended (as such some of the earlier text do not represent my current state of mind). I added pictures of the Vividcon hotel to make the connection more clear as well as show Vividcon is also a place I attend and I have strong memories of the whole hotel and con places in it as a home to me. I really enjoyed finding the right clips from my vids to add extra layers of meaning to all the different layers of the vid so that was one of my favorite parts of vidding this vid.

The vid itself shows my journey in processing the end of Vividcon and what I have gone through in the last year to make my peace with it. I was really upset when I found out Vividcon was ending which spanned many emotions including sadness and anger but I am an emotional person and the way I process my feelings is to allow myself intense emotions including identifying with fictional characters (see vid) which helps me release them and move on. I wanted to represent that in the first half of the vid because if I didn't love Vividcon so much and if it wasn't so important to me, I wouldn't have had such a deep reaction to it ending. But it was also really important for me to give a happier ending to the second half of the vid because eventually I was able to remember all the happy memories and be grateful that I had the chance to be a part of such an amazing con. 

I was going through major depression when I found out Vividcon was ending and up to April 2018 so it took me some time (and the thought of being at VVC helped keep me alive!) but eventually I found other things to look forward to in life and was able to let go of Vividcon and be at peace that it had ended. The last few clips are about that transition and the very last one is meant to represent me looking at other people being happy and belonging at other cons and being glad they have them just like I had Vividcon while hoping I can find my place to belong somewhere else (probably not fan cons and I'm cool with that). The vid was made with no ill intent towards anyone - I truly hold in high esteem and care for everyone who has attended the con as I tried to make clear at the end of the vid. I am aware this was a deeply personal and vulnerable vid to make but vids are a way for me to self-express my truth and put my feelings into art. I hoped some other people would possibly connect to it and I felt it was a good way to bring cathartic closure to my Vividcon experience as well as make a tribute to a con I love so much.


End file.
